Larry the Cranky

Hero's Lore

He was too high on “Y AE B XII) and crashed his spaceship. Now he is mad! Don’t drink and fly.

In the planet of Barrs there is an ET species (well not et for them Et for us racist humans), but what they do if they are Vang core miners. They are looking for resources for their main planet Tacos. Only a small group of people go and do the mining, they have to be strong, flexible but also dull-minded, like Larry.

In the planet of Tacos, there’s a family that’s breaking apart. Larry is an alcoholic, a father of two younglings, and has a wife who only nags and bitches all day and all night. But what happened bro?

He started his life with two beautiful and loving parents. They wanted the best for him and sent him to the best schools in Tacos, the ones where you had to be selected for your intelligence and logic. Larry was one of them. He studied, worked hard, was into sports and had a really good group of friends and even even many girlfriends. It all started crashing down when he decided not to wear a condom in one of his penises

He got his wife pregnant and was forced to marry her at an early age, only 16,000 years old. What happened is that his whole career went down the drain. He now needed money fast so he was tricked into some of those get-rich-quick schemes and tried to find his way around that, and they all failed. He then started gambling their own savings to get a quick buck but lost everything.

He then started drinking this new fluid called Y AE B XII. This was an addictive substance based on fermented larvae, some WhibblyCow piss, psychedelic flowers, and other goodies. The drink pumped up your dopamine levels, and it was really, really empowering. made him feel alive again but dizzy and drunk as hell.

He loved the beverage so much that he decided to contact the owners and the creators of it to ally himself. He was super passionate about it, he trusted that this was going to be his way out of the mining in Barrs and get rid of all the terrible work that he had to go through. He got a giant loan from the central bank and went to buy 1000 cases of Y AEB XII, and it was he was supposed to travel to a new planet, the planet Espinaca to get a contract signed and start delivering this magical drink.

A famous dealer once said, “do not get high on your supply,” but he did just that. He got drunk and he started to lose control over this spaceship and his senses. One thing led to the other, and he crashed on Earth. When he woke up, he found out that he had lost half of the entire stash because of the crash. He was Cranky, super cranky about this. He had no option but to go out and try to find the space components on Earth. 

He was pissed off, and to add to that, some police sirens started buzzing in the distance. Larry didn’t know what to do, so he took out his tiny bazooka and prepared to parlay or say bye bye.